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Technology Is Only Out to Kill You In A Lake..

Posted in Stories with tags , , , , , , , on May 20, 2013 by everythingbyalways

Plethora.

Technology…

HmHmHMM….

It’s sneaky.

So, for today’s story. Yes…it’s about technology and it’s…murderous ways.

I was on a road-trip. With a friend, okay.

And we, we decided to use a GPS.

Short for, Geographical-Personalized-Stupidity.

We went into the Settings, and changed the voice….I don’t even know….something about wanting male company..? *cough*

So, the name of the voice was…

Daniel.

Daniel *loathsome expression*…

We were looking for a place  to eat…minding our own business, K.

And Daniel says which directions and turns to go. So..

According to his “calculations” we were almost there.

Until…

He says out of nowehere…

“Recalculating”

Color our faces surprised.

He then proceeds to tell us to…

Turn left…

We look

and all that is there is a boat ramp….to, you know…back your boat into the water….

He wanted to inflict harm on us….maybe…maybe we were pushing his buttons….ha…haa haa…(get it?…pushing his….because he….forget you!! That was funny -.-)

I mean what’s next?? Web cams…coming to life….and BAM!

It’s a fork.

Technology…..It doesn’t even let you sneeze.

Not properly anyway. You’ll be in Chat or some such thing, and type “*sneeze*”….it comes out “*snooze.*”

Why?

Because it wants you to fall asleep so it can off you.

(Plethora….plethora…..you know, I really like that word. It just sort of, rolls off the tongue. No…a word I really like is “booth”……ha, haa, HAA! Booth. There are a lot of types of booths out there….)

Sure….it’s a fork…then OHMYGOSH It’s Megatron’s mini me!

And then how are you going to sneeze??

(Toll Booth, Control Booth, Telephone Booth, Ticket Booth, Isolation Booth..)

You wouldn’t!…..You darn right wouldn’t!

(Photo Booth, Voting Booth, Diner Booth..)

Technology…we all know we use it obsessively because we’re bored…

So…

Stay Bored.

Like this…

(…No…)

(It was Megatron calling….he wants his phone-bot back…)

SUR-Prise Thursday!

Posted in SUR-PRISE with tags , , , , , on May 16, 2013 by everythingbyalways

It must be a Thursday..

(Makes sure…)

HA! Haa, HAA! It is…

I don’t know about any of you…

But I love surprises…

Sur-prise, Sur-prise, SUURR-PRIIIISE!

(Alright, rev it down…)

Sur-prises are just great.

Well, there are some sur-prises that aren’t so great…like…

Being a cashier and having a customer in the check-out buy

– 3 gallons of bleach

– Plastic bags, ruber gloves, and masking tape

– Chain saw…

(….)

Yeeeaa-Ha-Haa-HAA!

Bad sur-prise…

I mean who knows…they could simply just be…cutting down trees….and…

Putting branches in bags….

And….using the gloves to….you know…cover their hands…

The bleach….

Ok fine….

Bad sur-prise.

Good thing for all of you…that isn’t the sur-prise…

(Ha, haa, HA!)

Not at all.

The Sur-Prise….

Summer Goodness

You’re Weeeelcome 😉

Stay Refreshed.